Rothwell Face-Off

Tuesday 31st of August will go down in Northants Skittling history as 'One hell of an away match'. Rothwell Conservative Club was the venue, Red Lion 'B' the team. The club was buzzing, the home team played their part in one of the fiercest tussles seen for many a Tuesday during the hotly contested Market Harborough Tuesday Skittles League.

It was an epic, neither side willing to give ground, men and women reduced to mere spectators as the two contestants squared up to each other. It was testament to the sheer quality on offer on this spectacular 'night-of-nights' that things went 'right to the wire'. This is truly what Tuesday Skittling is all about...

So who won I hear you ask. Well, it was a close run thing for sure, and lets be honest, there really were no losers on a night like this. So let's dispense with the technicalities and get straight to the heart of the matter.... Moorhouse Pride of Pendle (4.1%) certainly edged it in the taste stakes. A good session beer with a decent smack of hops, served in excellent condition considering its long journey down the M6. But what of the Ringwood Boondoggle (4.2%), a delicate 'Blonde' ale, eminently drinkable, though perhaps a little too subtle in the flavour department. A point for the silly name though, and let's not forget the extra 0.1% of alcohol in this (probably brewed in Burton!) Southern Lip-smacker. Was it enough to take the trophy in this mighty Real Ale Rumble in Rothwell?

Well...........I declare the match a Draw!!!! Congratulations to all concerned. I vote for a re-match.

Skittles Report: Lost.
Beer-Leg: Lost.... Badly!

Thank heavens for Beer.

Next Match (Home): Desborough Services 'B' (7th Sept)

Catholic Club Classics

Another Tuesday night skittling thriller at the Market Harborough Catholic Club resulted in a 37-48 win for Red Lion 'B'. On a night of high scores and low throws, the Beer Leg went the Red Lion way too, as indeed did most of the pork pie and cheesy curls during the victory supper.

Here's a blow-by-blow account of the match (though it's worth bearing in mind that I wasn't actually playing, and as we know, the barman makes work for idle hands...)

Alec struggled to find a bit of form on the low-low Catholic Club table, scraping to a 7-6 loss. Alec made up for a disappointing nights chucking with an excellent display of freestyle barracking. This confirmed Alec as a real Team Player, and an asset who's value to the team cannot be measured in mere skittling terms. Dropped.

Kev started well, romping ahead with a few good 9's, Tips, and regular swallows from his pint of Tiger. Sadly the beer took its toll as the game progressed, and Kev let his feisty opponent back into the game. A 'Paddington Hard-Stare' from team captain Fiona 'Sweet 18' Barby did the job and Kev finished strongly to gain a 4-7 win. Last seen nursing a pint of ale, and a double-chaser of bruised pride at the bar.

Jo played with her usual calm precision. Showing rare skill, verve, and more than a little style as she went on to win 4-7. Truly Jo was 'In the Zone', confidently working the Catholic Club table, whilst simultaneously keeping an eye on errant husband 'Kingpin' Mcqueenie. A class-act.

Fiona. Shaky start. Good 6-7 win. I don't recall anything else of note...

Jim 'Kingpin' Mcqueenie was on the ropes, trailing badly, throwing with all the skill and dexterity of ...erm... well, me actually. I couldn't watch any more and disappeared upstairs for a 'comfort break'. By the time I returned, plucky Kingpin had won the game 6-7.... How? What happened? Answers on a postcard please.

John 'Clippie' Clipston did just enough to make the game safe, nonchalantly strolling to a 6-7 win, barely breaking into a sweat. No doubt keeping his skittling powder dry for greater battles to come..... we hope!

Freed of any expectation of the need to win, a very relaxed Cath cut loose and expressed herself with a confident 4-7 win, did a little dance, and celebrated with a second glass of Vimto. Game, Set, Match, Supper.

Beer Report: Everards Tiger Best Bitter and Morland Old Speckled Hen were on offer. I'm not a big fan of the Speckledy Hen brew, so Tiger won the day. A decent enough pint, but one which often gives me a bad-head in the morning... which it did!

Next Match (Away): Rothwell Conservative Club 'B' (31st August)

Naked Jelly Wrestling - Cancelled!

Intriguing news of the day. Rothwell Conservative Club 'B' have drawn one of their matches. So they are human after all!

OK, let's get this in perspective. Rothwell Cons are top of the 'B' league, with Red Lion 'B' snapping several yards behind their heels in second place. Even with this single draw, Rothwell remain unbeaten, whilst the Red have lost both home and away to the top team. So summing up, our chances of topping the league have now gone from 'Nil', to 'Practically Nil', which is progress of sorts.

Our cause has been helped by another home win, this time against the Shoulder of Mutton team from across the border in Great Bowdenshire. As far as picking the team was concerned, my Naked Jelly Wrestling idea was vetoed. Instead I made it into the team by sheer chance through the drawing of names out of a (metaphorical) hat, though following my woeful performance on the night the two-man Jelly Vat may get a try out yet...

The only thing wobbling on the night was my throw. I reacquainted myself with the skittling traditions of 'Hitting the Front' and 'Sailing through the Middle', neither of which are good things in case you were wondering. I lost my game, and joined fellow struggler Linsey McCarling in the 'naughty corner' of the bar. Regular 'form' players Alec and Kingpin McQueenie helped rescue the match, and we marched on to win the Beer Leg 3-2.

As far as we can tell, the Red Lion have still won the most Beer Legs. I think this says a lot about the Red Lion 'B' team's staunch commitment to Beer.... and Legs! I think I can safely say that we like them both, though I must say I find that one is usually tastier than the other... legs that is...

A Milestone Beer, and the welcome return of Great Oakley Wot's Occuring ensured more beer was drunk than absolutely necessary. This is as it should be, and I'll hopefully be along for the ride next week, even though I won't be throwing anything cheese-like. Being dropped from the team doesn't mean I can't support our players in the only way I know how. A proudly raised glass of ale at the Catholic Club bar.

Next Match (Away): Catholic Club, Market Harborough (17th August)

'B' Cup Wobble

The first round of the 'B' league Knock Out Cup came and went on Tuesday. It was a narrow victory for the Red Lion 'B' in what proved to be another 'Bulls Head Nail-Biter' on a dark night in Arthingworth. James 'King Pin' Mcqueenie seemed to have the measure of the table, with Alec showing good wrist action too, but it fell to skittling legend John 'Clippie' Clipston to bring home the bacon with the very last throw of the night. 7-6 was the final score, with the final match finishing a much-too-close-for-comfort 54-53. Yowzah!

Red Lion 'B' motto: If a job's worth doing, it's worth making heavy weather of it.

And so we stumble on to the glorious Semi-Finals, nearly two months away at the back-end of September. Just enough time to find a bit of form.... maybe.

The Arthingworth Rectangle lived up to its dark reputation, cloaked as it was in thick cloud the colour of Bruised Offal. The wind whipped up, rattling the chains of the Village Gibbet. Skittlers sucked nervously on roll-ups as the rain lashed in, guttering candles and diluting the ale. To be honest, we were glad to be away from the accursed place. If proof were needed of the strange goings on in the mysterious Arthingworth Rectangle, consider this! The journey home took a full two hours longer than the relative ease of the outward trip...... Spooky or what!

Team captain Fiona 'All Roads Lead to Dingley' Barby had left the Little Black Book at home, so no record was made of the team averages. The Knockout Cup game is played to different rules than the usual Tuesday League, so it has been decided that the only fair way to decide who plays in Great Bowden next week is a Naked Jelly Wrestling tournament, to be played at a secret location in the pub cellar this Friday evening. If you'd like to see this traditional Welland Valley spectacle, details are available from the bar. Just use the code-phrase 'I'm looking for Jelly-Fun', and all will be revealed.

Beer Report: Thwaites Original, Lancaster Bomber, and Batemans XB. Brown Bitters, not a favourite of mine to be honest. Please sir, can we have some hops now?

Next Match (Away): Shoulder of Mutton, Great Bowden (10th August)