There's a New Chuck in Town...

The Red Lion team, sans Señor Markio and 'Kingpin' McQueenie, won a spectacular victory away at the Red Lion, Rothwell last week. Well they would, wouldn't they!

Conclusions could (and probably have) been drawn from this slightly surprising turn of events, the weakest links and all that... Well never let it be said that we don't rise to a challenge. Plucky Kingpin and the hapless Skittling Donkey have been putting in a spot of extra practice in light of this humiliation. We'll come back stronger from the experience of being unceremoniously 'dropped'. We're up for the challenge. Oh yes, we'll show 'em.... sniffle!

Let's be frank, when a player performs as badly as Monseur Kingpin and Señor Markio did against the men of Rothwell Cons, something definitely needs to change. For his part, Kingpin has taken it on the chin, 'manned-up', and settled on just the ten different throwing combinations ahead of this weeks crunch home match. Acknowledging that this is no time for wild experimentation and fancy footwork, Kingpin will whittle these ten down to a core of six completely different throws for the actual match, reserving the four most radical throwing techniques for the all important Beer Leg. Bravo James! That's showing 'em!

In a show of skittling solidarity, Señor Markio has gone back to basics and changed his throw completely... a brave (possibly stupid) move with only one day to go until the big match, but fortune sometimes favours the brave (or stupid). So, gone the dull orthodoxy of the straight underarm throw (known locally as a 'Full Kev'), replaced instead with a radical sideways hurl, carefully designed to get more than one of the three cheeses onto the table. It's a simple, and occasionally effective technique in the right hands. A potential disaster in the hooves of a Donkey of course...

...and they're off...

So there we were. All lined up, champing at the bit, ready for the start of the Tuesday Summer Skittles League. After a couple of 'dry' nights ahead of the match (it was a very 'wet' weekend if you know what I mean), the going was declared 'firm but fairly likely to get wetter' in the cosy stabling of the Red Lion bar. Under starters orders then...

Several Red Lion 'horses' had pulled up at the last minute, non-runners included team captain Fiona 'Bay Mare' Barby, and 'Irish Cob' Jo. A strong lineup though, featuring the stars of the Winter League, the ever reliable Cart-Horse Kev, team favourite Clippity-clop Clipston, getting on a bit but still good for a gallop Kingpin McQueenie (the famous Talking Horse), Emma 'hooves of lightning' Barby, and promising young Colts, Simon and Mark, horseshoes polished and eager for a bit of nosebag.

We're Off!... but oh no! what's this, Senor Markio is facing the wrong way. As the rest of the team gallop purposefully into the match, neck-and-neck with the fine young(ish) stallions of the Rothwell Conservative Club, the Skittling Donkey is going the backwards, completely failing to get over the jumps, and generally looking like he's been the victim of a doping incident. Eeyore!

A narrow loss then, and although there were no 'fallers' or other serious injuries (Kev broke a nail during his match, but medical assistance was not considered neccesary on this occasion), it's widely believed at least one nag will be sent to the knackers yard on the back of this performance. On a more happy note, we gamely took the 'Net-of-Carrots-Leg' 3-0.

Horse Trough Report: Great Oakley Wots Occuring, Welland Valley Mild, and Fly the Flag for real ale fans. Rockingham Forest 'Red Kite' Cider for real men.

Next match 3rd May: Red Lion A, Rothwell (Away)